Get Shakespeare Insult Kit

eggshell (n.) something worthless.

Death's head upon a mop-stick. Okay, I nearly snorted coffee through my nose just reading this phrase. ... Duke of limbs. ... Blowse/Blowsbella. ... Thingumbob. ... Addle Pate. ... Villain, I have done thy mother. ... Whiffle-whaffle. ... Jelly-belly.

act in an arrogant, overly self-assured, or conceited manner. Hang him, swaggering rascal!

Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee. ... I desire that we be better strangers. ... Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood. ... Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog! ... ...in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bed-clothes about him.

Shakespeare packs this gender and class comedy with pranks, pratfalls, and, yes, profanity. But no swearing is quite as memorable, and impressive, as its famed Latin lesson. That's right: It wasn't enough for the Bard to concoct his artful swears in his English. He cooked them up in Latin, too.

Shakespeare's Pronouns The first person -- I, me, my, and mine -- remains basically the same. The second-person singular (you, your, yours), however, is translated like so: "Thou" for "you" (nominative, as in Thou hast risen. ) "Thee" for "you" (objective, as in I give this to thee. )

...a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to sscratch a man to death! a braggart, a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic! (III,i, More insults are hurled in the final act when Paris enters the tomb of Juliet and discovers Romeo.

O,speak to me no more;these words like daggers enter my ears. (a fancy way of saying SHUT UP!)" William Shakespeare "hamlet

To make an insult, pick one word from each column and string them together. For example, taking the first word in each column gives you the insult: artless base-court apple-john. How to use your Insults 1. Write a short, simple scene, or use the one below.

Example 1. Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon! ( ... You peasant swain! you whoreson malthorse drudge! ( ... A plague upon him! . . . He can say nothing of me: hush, hush! ( ... He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ... O! ... From forth the kennel of thy womb hath crept. ... Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!