Writing a condolence message is never easy. We've compiled a few expert tips and provided several sympathy note ideas to use in any scenario here.Here are 10 tips on how to write a condolence letter and what to say and what not to say. Our mutual friend, XXX let me know of your bereavement. I was very sorry to hear of XXX's passing. (1)Address the letter to the family member or members. (2)Acknowledge the loss. "My heart goes out to you in this time of sorrow. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your parent. Again, we are so sorry to hear about your loss.