When you're at a loss for words, these messages of condolences and sympathy will provide comfort to friends and family in their time of need. The six etiquette rules to remember when sending your condolences.Here's what to say, because showing your compassion is invaluable. Struggling to write a perfect sympathy card condolence message? Learn thoughtful ways to craft words for comfort with this step-by-step guide. Keep the letter as brief and as short as possible. When composing a condolences letter, write from the heart. "I am deeply sorry for your loss. Offer to help your friend find ways to reach out to others who might be able to relate to their pain. If you must say something, a very brief and positive personal statement is probably good.