Make sure you include the name of the person who died or mention the specific incident that caused sorrow for the person. Sit down and write the person a letter; doing so will make it easier when you see that person to look her in the eye and acknowledge the loss.Be sincere and express your feelings of sympathy. Here are 10 tips on how to write a condolence letter and what to say and what not to say. When writing a condolence letter, starting with an empathetic and compassionate tone is essential. Here are some suggestions for expressing sympathy clearly and supportively to the bereaved. Email is fine, but avoid texting. Write with sincerity and compassion. Tell a story about the person, but avoid delving into troubled or complex relationships. Some example messages would be, please know I am thinking of you during this painful time.