It is always much better to handwrite a letter of condolence. Make sure you mention the name of the deceased and how you knew them.Keep the letter as brief and as short as possible. I know nothing we can say can ease the pain. Acknowledge the loss and name the deceased. This sets the purpose and tone of the letter. I am writing to express my condolences. When my father died the kindest thing anyone said to me was, "There is no time limit to grief." It was on March 27, 1862, in this Suffolk house, that Sarah J. Elliott sat down to write a letter to an anxious father in Georgia. Writing a condolence message is never easy.