When writing a condolence letter, starting with an empathetic and compassionate tone is essential. Our mutual friend, XXX let me know of your bereavement.I was very sorry to hear of XXX's passing. Here are 10 tips on how to write a condolence letter and what to say and what not to say. Acknowledge the loss. Condolence letters do not need to be long; a brief, heartfelt note of sympathy will mean a lot to its recipient. When conveying your condolences stick to "I'm very sorry for your loss" and avoid the temptation to say something "profound" or anything of the sort. The ultimate objective of writing a condolence letter is to offer your condolences to the grieving friend. I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Even in his death you have helped others.