Request a ceremonial letter – condolence, congratulations or commendation ; Prefix. Preferred Pronouns ; First Name.Keep the letter as brief and as short as possible. Send the letter promptly. Write and mail the letter within about two weeks following the loss. Letters of condolence are mainly to comfort the bereaved. Say one or two positive things about the deceased, but the rest should be directed at the recipient. Sample Letter of Condolence. It starts out with a direct reference to the tragedy. 2. Write on simple stationery or a sympathy card.