Keep the letter as brief and as short as possible. Use gentler words like "passing" or "loss" instead.Also avoid bringing up details about the death when considering what to write in a sympathy card. Our mutual friend, XXX let me know of your bereavement. I was very sorry to hear of XXX's passing. Letters of condolence are mainly to comfort the bereaved. Say one or two positive things about the deceased, but the rest should be directed at the recipient. Writing a condolence message is never easy. We've compiled a few expert tips and provided several sympathy note ideas to use in any scenario here. Here are 10 tips on how to write a condolence letter and what to say and what not to say.