Request a ceremonial letter – condolence, congratulations or commendation ; Prefix. Preferred Pronouns ; First Name.Keep the letter as brief and as short as possible. Letters of condolence are mainly to comfort the bereaved. Say one or two positive things about the deceased, but the rest should be directed at the recipient. Send the letter promptly. Write and mail the letter within about two weeks following the loss. It's not a letter everyone can write to a grieving family member or friend. But it was the best one I got from anyone who was close to me. Sample Letter of Condolence.