What parents and witnesses need to know about character reference letters to the court for child custody. Includes a downloadable sample and template.Writing a character letter for a judge can be a daunting task. Here are nine essential tips for writing an effective sentencing letter. The character reference letter for court serves the purpose of offering the Judge insights into the Defendant's moral or mental attributes. Everything you need to write a declaration letter to the judge in your custody case: an example, a downloadable template, an outline and tips. You cannot write a letter to the family court judge. This would be considered an ex parte communication. You may submit a letter to the judge through the Clerk of Court. In Illinois, it's not appropriate or even advisable to write directly to the judge in your divorce case.