Write a long, nasty, mean-spirited letter to explain everything that they dislike about the church and articulate their own self-pity at length. If people are gracious enough to let me know they are leaving, I write them a letter and thank them for their attendance and past service.What is a gracious way to leave the church? Thank you for the ways that you have loved us. Thank you for inviting us into your homes. "And yet here I am reflecting publicly on my reasons for leaving my current parish ministry as I move on into something else. Try to leave graciously. Do you ever feel like your pastor is blowing you off? Maybe you just feel like he doesn't greet you or treat you as you expected. "I hope I can be the autumn leaf, who looked at the sky and lived.