Write a long, nasty, mean-spirited letter to explain everything that they dislike about the church and articulate their own self-pity at length. What is a gracious way to leave the church?Keep your former church in your prayers and speak well of it. Thank you for inviting us into your homes. Thank for the ways you have listened to our hearts and gently encouraged us. Don't kill someone's character or disembowel the whole church with your reply. Dear Chairman Board of Elders,. I am writing to withdraw my membership from Grace Community Church.