Write a long, nasty, mean-spirited letter to explain everything that they dislike about the church and articulate their own self-pity at length. Don't let problems or convictions linger or fester indefinitely.Some have concluded that a church member needs permission from the elders to leave a church. If people are gracious enough to let me know they are leaving, I write them a letter and thank them for their attendance and past service. Try to leave graciously. The Board of Elders wants to reach out to you personally to address the recent events in our church and to provide you with an update. Communicate clearly and graciously. I recommend doing this in person, on the phone, or through a thoughtful, personal email. Last weekend most people in America avoided church. And, a sizable portion of those who did make it to church wished they were somewhere else.