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Reasons for Leaving the Church Spiritual Abuse or Religious Trauma Failure to Do Justice, Love Kindness & Walk Humbly with God Dismissal or Punishment of Questions/Doubts Theological Contradictions Shame & Judgment
So, here are a few thoughts about how to leave a church well, with one bonus thought at the end. 1) Pray about it. Sometimes people leave their church for the right reasons, and sometimes not. 2) Take responsibility. 3) Communicate. 4) Be kind. 5) Go to church somewhere. Love like Jesus.
Six Biblical Justifications for Leaving a Local Church The people are located too far away. The people are diminishing doctrine. The people are spiritually abusive. The people are tolerating sin. The people are constantly fighting. The Holy Spirit sends you out on mission.
Doctrinal disagreement—You may have joined a church that held to a particular set of doctrinal convictions, but a change in leadership or shift in congregational culture may be leading that local body in a direction you can't endorse.
There are many scriptural reasons to leave a church (e.g., false doctrine, corrupt worship, worldly influence, etc.), but there are also unbiblical reasons. One of the most common is unresolved interpersonal offenses, so I would suggest leaving the enigmatic example of Paul and Barnabas out of your decision.
If a church has no community, no relationship building, no compassion, no prayer, no ways to connect with one another, this is not the healthy intention of the church. God created the church so that it would build people up in their faith and provide fellowship.
Share some of the meaningful experiences, lessons, or memories you're taking with you. Highlight how the church has helped you grow in your faith. Acknowledge the relationships you're leaving behind and let people know you'll miss them. Offer to stay in touch if appropriate. Keep the tone positive and hopeful.
Let your pastor know the main reasons you are leaving, but do so with humility, love and grace. Be wise and thoughtful about this. Be sure to let your pastor know some of the things you are thankful for regarding your time at your church. I'm sure there are plenty of things you are thankful for.
Share some of the meaningful experiences, lessons, or memories you're taking with you. Highlight how the church has helped you grow in your faith. Acknowledge the relationships you're leaving behind and let people know you'll miss them. Offer to stay in touch if appropriate. Keep the tone positive and hopeful.
With regard to friends and loved ones who have left the Church, we can say things like, “I love you, and this doesn't change anything” or “I trust you and I respect you, and I would love to hear more about how you feel.” As Elder Ulisses Soares said recently in general conference, “Never reject or misjudge them.