Write a long, nasty, mean-spirited letter to explain everything that they dislike about the church and articulate their own self-pity at length. If people are gracious enough to let me know they are leaving, I write them a letter and thank them for their attendance and past service.Be honest, be upfront, and be loving and gentle. Entering into, engaging with, and departing from Christ's local body is a significant part of following Jesus. Keep your former church in your prayers and speak well of it. I want to share with you what the Lord has been telling me and my dear life companion. Some church by-laws give direction on what must happen during a time of transition. I have accepted a call to become the Canon Evangelist for the Diocese of Southern Virginia. Tell the pastor you are leaving. This may be the most important point.