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To proceed with a stepparent adoption, the following must be true: The stepparent relationship must be legally established; meaning the stepparent's marriage to the child's birth parent—usually the custodial parent—is valid; The child consents to the adoption, if he or she is at least 14 years old; and. If you want to adopt a stepchild, you may need the consent (or agreement) of both your spouse and the child's noncustodial parent.The legal process of adoption is similar to other adoptions in that it requires background checks, birth parent consent, and legal finalization. In some states, the child must also give consent if they are over a certain age, usually around 1014. Check out your state adoption laws. Yes. In all stepparent adoptions, the consent of both birth parents is required. Many states require the consent of both parents—the custodial spouse and the parent who doesn't have custody of the child—to proceed with a stepparent adoption. A Stepparent Adoption is when the spouse of a child's custodial parent adopts that child. A Stepparent Adoption is when the spouse of a child's custodial parent adopts that child. If the child says no, then the adoption process is killed.