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Process servers will call you, but they won't threaten you over the phone. A process server is always paid by the party hiring them to deliver legal documents. Whether it's a divorce, child support, or debt collection case, the party being served will never pay the server directly.
If the other party is willing to accept service, the filing party may simply mail or hand-deliver a copy of the Summons, petition/complaint, and other documents to the Defendant / Respondent, along with a form called an Acceptance of Service. In family law matters, the Acceptance of Service form is available on the
When the party that has to be served lives out of state, papers can usually be served by sending a copy of the paperwork to be served to that party by first-class mail, postage prepaid, and return receipt requested. The person who mails the papers must be at least 18 and NOT a party to the case.
The server mails the papers to the party being served. The server then fills out a Proof of Service, detailing to whom the papers were mailed, to what address, when, how (by first-class mail), and where they were mailed from. Service by mail is complete 5 days after the papers are mailed.
In the majority of states, you can serve papers by sending them to the defendant via certified mail with a return receipt requested. In some states, service by certified (or registered) mail is one among several ways you may serve papers.
The person serving the document by hand must identify the person being served and provide a copy of the document to the person served. If the person to be served refuses to take a copy of the document, the person serving it may put it down in the presence of the person to be served and tell the person what it is.
In California, if you do not know the whereabouts of a defendant or respondent, you can petition the court for permission to serve the papers by publication. To serve a party by publication means that you publish the Summons and all required documentation in a newspaper of general circulation.
Tell the server to: Give the papers to a responsible adult where the Defendant lives, or to someone in charge where the Defendant works. Say, These are court papers. Then, mail (first-class) a copy of the papers to the Defendant at the same address where s/he left the papers.
As already indicated, the general answer is no, they don't have to say anything. In the US, you can be sued under state or federal law, so you should check the rules of civil procedure in your state. The Federal Rules do not require the service agent to say anything.